i played connect the dots with your beauty marks and i ended up with picture perfect sheet music. i read your musical notes with a composers eyes and heard our song for the first time - my spine is still tingling.
Woman’s rights created feminists created indipendence created single mothers created Shitty little brats destroyed this country’s future
As frusterated as i am that i was sent to mcleans, Its only because I know im not going to change. I refuse to take Man made medications and im not strong enough to change the way I think. Im always going to be a pessimist. Im always going to have days I cant get myself out of bed. Im always going to break down and get depressed when I hear certain songs and voices and names and tv shows, but people have been living with depression and functioning since the beguinning of time, so i know that i can too.
On the other hand im greatful to have met the people I did there, three guys in particular. A kid mike who was my age, who was basically exactly who Ive always wanted to be. A good athlete, funny and personable. He promised me a job in the city, but he hasnt answered my calls or texts yet, I cant blame him though, how could anyone go into work and reccomend a manic depressive person they met in a psych ward? Reguardless it was cool to actually realize im not the only 20-somthin year old guy who Thinks this way. I know i have people to talk to on here that can relate but i never felt a real connection until this week. And ill always appreciate that.
Bill was a 60 somthin year old retired plymouth police officer, I never really got his full story but he was really smart, always throwin out cool facts and storys, he was always willing to lend an ear and give me some advice. I think what really made me like him was how much he reminded me of my papa, Its been a Long time since Ive been that confortable shooting the shit with an old timer, I really hope our paths cross again since we live in the same town.
Vinny had the absolute biggest impact on me out of my stay there, we were roommates and both of us are insomniacs so we stayed up in the day room hours past everyone else had gone to bed just talking about everything from crazy stories to our life problems to what we were gonna do to change our lives when we got out. Im not going to say anything about his story because I gave him the URL to my blog and im litterally hoping he finds this and shoots me an ask but I cant even begin to explain how relevant his story is to my life. He showed me that no matter how fucked up my head is I have the potential to be someone as Long as i keep working hard and stay away from negative things. It means so much more when advice is coming from someone someone whos been in your shoes. One day im going to be in a house I own with my children and a girl I love and I know those late Night talks with Vinny are going to be one of the biggest reasons why I get that. Im praying everything works out for him and one day we can grab some coffee or lunch or something and catch up.
If your still reading this im sorry for the rant, but I dont have many positive events in my life to look back on and find reason to keep truckin. And if this can even give 1 person hope ill be happy. There are still good people out there. There are still people who care. There are still people who want to see you not only survive, but thrive and go on to help others, even if they are strangers you meet in the last place you want to be
Jodi Arias is selling “Survivor” shirts on her website. $15.00 shipped and the proceeds go to domestic abuse victims & shelters. *rolls eyes*